hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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