ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
