I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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