just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
