How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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