i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize