You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
