Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
