Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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