someone threw a dead crab at me
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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