Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
