after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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