whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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