i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize