i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
