My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
