I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i think im in europe. pls send help
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
