i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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