At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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