"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We got so high we made milksteak
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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