Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
