Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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