Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
