Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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