Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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