there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
