porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
