There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What a dumb baby whore.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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