It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
