drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
