I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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