There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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