it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
