id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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