these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
