shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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