When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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