Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
