So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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