FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
