two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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