She announced her abortion via fbk
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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