Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize