i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think people are normalizing furries
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
