no, he came in my armpit
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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