I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Never underestimate the power of titties
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
