No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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