what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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