oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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