Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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