i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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