if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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