Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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