Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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