I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize