Im at strip club and am horny
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
