Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
oh god the rape fog is back!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
