He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
