well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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