im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
