I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
