i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
