Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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