you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
