when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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