how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
