Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
