Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
