I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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