Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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