What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize