It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
