I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
