Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
